Das erste Jahr Babybuddha jetzt auf:


Shortly before 4 AM is when night (we look at the clock in disbelief) ends for us (you, me). Our baby wants to leave his bed and get into ours, then he wants to leave our bed and go to the closet, to the lowest drawer with the sports gear (he’s particularly taken with the Yoga block made of cork; he chewed off a piece yesterday – but isn’t it still yesterday?). The feeling of being expelled from deepest sleep is overwhelming: the sleepiness is huge, but now wakefulness is there and will not be replaced. The weight of sleepiness is as heavy as the whole world; wakefulness bears it with astonishing courage and great (though grumpy) composure. Our baby says (now at this early hour, which feels like a late one to us, we understand him quite well): What do you want with your daytime here, nighttime there, you one-sided creatures! Night is as good for clearing out shelves as day is! (Shouldn’t we have been suspicious from the beginning that our baby was sleeping so much? All the things we believed! Concerning the baby’s sense of time in your belly. Concerning his switch to the outside world, to us, to our diurnal and nocturnal rhythms. Concerning the disproportion between his sleeping and waking. The conviction of knowing the difference between day and night, and of knowing the purpose of each, now looks to us like an inadmissible conclusion. Our temporal arrangements seem false now, we would go so far as to say that we can no longer tell day and night apart, nor do we wish to. We have switched to the other side, the utterly other side of our baby, who appears to us as the first human being, who knows nothing about the division of day and night, light and darkness, following a rhythm that is no rhythm but his own, our beautiful baby, squatting on his legs, immovable as he reaches into the drawer and pulls out the Yoga block and throws it at our head, in the middle of the night – but this can’t be true, probably we all fell asleep again, the baby, you, I, and just forgot to turn out the light.)



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