Das erste Jahr Babybuddha jetzt auf:


For one shocking moment (or was it a whole day?) I forgot our baby. It seems to me that the shock coincided with the moment of forgetting. But I am only able to notice that now, after being awakened by a panic that was initially soft and then louder and louder (an insidiousness for which I am grateful). Exhausted, I stay in my shame, which appears to me, even though I am alone, as an utterly public situation (even if every single human being knew of my shame, it could not be greater). Basically, I think, I have violated a sanctuary, destroyed a temple, torn heaven asunder: I forgot our baby! But how could I forget him? I mean, how was it possible for me to forget the baby, who is at one with unforgettability, with his unforgettability, without which he would not be what he is, without which he would not exist in any way at all (I won’t even attempt to excuse myself by outer circumstances – work, a fight, the visit of a friend -, since to do so would be self-deceptive; and so, in this spirit of honesty, late in the evening, I approach our sleeping baby’s bed to seek the inner reason for my forgetting. And then I realize: I was mistaken.) 



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